If you're a parent with teens then you probably have one goal:
Be a Connected and Happy Family
But, in reality, you are probably often a frustrated and disconnected family.
Individual mental strength makes your WHOLE family stronger
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This is probably what's going down...
You have a loving family with a really great teen or two. They really are fantastic and you love them so much! You do a great job at telling them so.
You feel you are doing quite a decent job at parenting your kids (definitely better than your parents did, amiright??) You read parenting books, listen to podcasts, and feel like you know how to approach most situations.
But actually applying those strategies is a different story.
You try them out but don’t get the response you were hoping for. It’s becoming harder to do what the parenting “gurus” are telling you to do. It doesn’t seem to work anyway, your teen still isn’t doing what you want them to.
You are frustrated more than you want to be. And, let’s be honest, you’ve had more than one night of throwing your arms in the air or putting your face into your hands and worrying about the future of your teen and your relationship with them.
Then there’s what’s going on in your teen’s head.
Your teen is stressed and anxious, having a hard time making friends or making the wrong ones.
If your teen was more confident maybe they’d be able to live up to their potential.
At least stay on top of their homework, right? But they seriously lack time management skills (and Minecraft isn’t helping).
If they would just talk to you more about what’s going on, you’d be able to help them make better choices. But getting them to talk about their thoughts and feelings is like drilling for oil on the moon.
Then there are these fabulous stressors...
For Your Teen
📚 Late assignments & missed deadlines
😰 Social pressures and anxiety
📱 The draw of their phone like a moth to the flame
🎓 Fear and worry for their future
For the Parent
🗓️ A full and busy schedule
🏠 Running your house
😩 Expectations from yourself and others
🎓 Fear and worry about your teen's future
You wish your teen would stop thinking so many negative thoughts and realize how awesome they are. How awesome LIFE is.
Why doesn’t their school teach them more social emotional skills??
You’re frustrated because you and your spouse have different parenting tactics. It doesn’t really matter though, because neither are really working.
You doubt your abilities to be the amazing parent you wanted to be and connect with your teen the way they need you to.
Nothing is wrong with you or your teen.
The problem is with how the world conditions us to think these days. There are so many unhelpful expectations and negative stories being downloaded straight into our brains.
Both you and your teen could benefit from a mindset overhaul.
Powerful tools and strategies to take you and your family from feeling like a helpless sidekick just along for the ride to the empowered hero of your own stories.
Our names are Ali, Ben, and Joey and we are certified life coaches for teens and parents who want to better enjoy their lives.
We’ve been around a lot of teens over the years. Like, a lot.
Collectively, we have over a decade of teaching and inspiring teens in school, from a counselor in the Middle School Discipline Office to being a High School Principal.
Throw in years of foster parenting, SOMETHING HERE, and thousands of hours coaching parents and teens and we can truly say… we get it.
We get the frustration.
We are not exactly thrilled with what is going on with teens and families today either.
We know that schools aren’t giving teens the emotional and mental skills they need to truly thrive.
They’re not supposed to.
We’ve been in the classrooms, in the planning meetings, and in the district offices and we know the levels of strain and the limits on teachers.
Society expects them to teach our kids how to manage stress? How to stop procrastinating? How to stop all the negative thoughts about themselves?
That’s not what school was designed for. There are no classes for mental strength (just lots of posters and slogans).
The real work needs to be done in the home.
But how? Most parents are struggling with stress, procrastination, and negative self-talk themselves!
How can you be the mentor your teen needs if you’re not the hero of your own life?
We are all born to be the hero of our own story. But, sometimes we show up as a sidekick.
A sidekick is not in control of their destiny.
If they get captured, they have to wait for someone to save them or for the situation to change.
But a hero is always in control of their destiny.
Even if they get captured, which still happens for heroes, they are the ones who get themselves out, who find a way to push forward.
A sidekick is different from a victim. A victim isn’t even on the team. A sidekick has the same goals as the hero, they are just lacking the mental strength to persevere through the problem.
Now, stop thinking that just your teen is doing this, you’re doing this too.
For a teen it’s easy to spot when they're being a sidekick. It looks like this:
- Hating school
- Procrastinating homework
- Avoiding social situations
- Not taking any action toward their goal
- Spinning in overwhelm and worry
For a parent, it looks like this:
- Giving big consequences you don't actually want to follow through with
- Spending most of your time talking to them trying to change them
- Judging your teen's friends and choices
- Yelling or being passive aggressive
- Worrying about your teen's future
We'll let you in on a secret...
If you are acting like a sidekick it's because you are THINKING like a sidekick.
If you want to strengthen your family and turn them into a team of friggin’ awesome superheroes, then the work has to be done at the basic building blocks of your life for parent AND teen…
The thoughts you allow yourself to think and believe.
We are the only creatures on earth God gave the ability to think about what we are thinking about. It’s called Metacognition. It’s super helpful.
And barely any of us use it. 🤦♀️
We all just go around thinking the first thoughts that come to mind (and those thoughts are usually sidekick thoughts).
But don’t worry, it gets worse.
Not only do we accept the first thoughts we typically think but we start to believe they are FACTS.
Once that happens we get stuck.
Teens start doing worse in school. Their self-image plummets. They retreat from the world, sometimes outwardly and sometimes just inwardly.
Parents start to worry more. Conversations become passive aggressive. Teens get defensive and shut down.
But, there is hope.
If you and your teen can learn to catch yourself when you are thinking like a sidekick, then you can make serious change at the root of the problem.
That's why we created the Firmly Founded Family
When you choose to join the Firmly Founded Family, we’ll show your whole family how to go from sidekick to hero.
Teens will learn:
- How to manage their time so they can get stuff done AND have more fun
- Simple tools to help process unpleasant emotions
- The key to gaining self-confidence
- The secrets to being super comfortable in social situations
- How to single-handedly improve their relationship with just about anyone
Parents will learn:
- Strategies to connect with your teen
- How to set and enforce boundaries
- The number one tip to have great conversations with your teens
- Easy ways to build confidence in your parenting style, whatever it is
- Tools to manage unpleasant emotions
- How to make lasting change in your family
And so much more...
In the Firmly Founded Family, there are workshops for nearly everyone in your household (and even those who have already left the nest).
Our weekly Teen Training Rooms are LEGENDARY
They follow a different topic every month. They are great place for teens to tune in live, learn a lot while having fun, and participate in a way they are comfortable with.
Our live parent coaching calls are POWERFUL
They give parents insights into the minds of other parents who are dealing with similar struggles and see solutions that can be applied in their own life.
We even have live calls for young adults
We help your college student as they decide their future, navigate relationships, and work on excelling in life and career.
Plus, there is a library of engaging video courses for teens and a history of replays for all.
Being a member also gives you access to exclusive and affordable pricing for private coaching with our amazing Firmly Founded coaches.
You have an AMAZING family.
Get the tools to BE amazing on purpose.
To improve relationships and connection in your home, each member of your family just needs to become aware of three things:
- How they view themselves
- How they view others
- And how they view the world around them
Once you and your teen are aware of your sidekick thoughts in those three areas, you can choose to be a hero instead.
With that super power, gone will be the days of rocky relationships and frustration.
Instead, you will become a Firmly Founded Family.