by Angela Mascio
When I was a teen a part of me believed I had to earn my worth. I felt I had to prove my value. I worked hard to be good at everything I did in order to prove to myself and the world that I had value.
If I did well on a test, I was on top of the world. If I did poorly, I felt defeated and depressed.
And it wasn’t enough just to do something well, I had to do it better than everyone else or at least better than most. Because if I was just average, it meant that I was less valuable than other people.
I would avoid doing new things because I was afraid that if I wasn’t good at it, my sense of value would decrease.
Does this sound like something your teen might be struggling with? Is their drive to achieve driven by a fear that their worth depends on it?
Luckily for me, I eventually realized the truth.
We all have the exact same value. Every one of us has constant, infinite worth.
We can’t increase our worth by doing something well. We don’t decrease our worth by doing something poorly, or even by behaving poorly.
Failure after failure after failure does not take anything away from your value and worth.
Whether or not other people recognize our value does not lessen it even a little bit. You don’t need anyone else’s praise or approval to be of worth. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone–even to yourself.
While our value is constant, our self-esteem, on the other hand, is not. Sometimes it goes up and down like a yo-yo.
Self-esteem depends on our ability to recognize and accept our value. That’s where a lot of teens struggle, just like I did.
A big part of our Firmly Founded program focuses on understanding individual worth. It’s totally normal for teens to struggle with self-confidence, but we want to equip them with knowledge and tools to make that struggle a little more manageable. Because conquering issues of low self-esteem can improve so many aspects of life. It can decrease stress and anxiety, improve relationships, and contribute to a more positive outlook on life. What teen doesn’t need that?
So if your teen is struggling, remind them that their value doesn’t depend on performance or popular opinion.
If you need more help, sign them up for a free session. You’ve got nothing to lose and your teen has so much to gain!