Want to build a relationship of love and trust with your teen?
Then don’t freak out.
Don’t freak out when things go wrong, when they make a mistake, when they disobey you.
Don’t freak out when they freak out.
This is so much easier said than done. Freaking out comes so easily. It’s often our first impulse. But learn to resist the urge!
There are two main reasons why freaking out is so destructive as a parent.
Number one, it’s contagious. If your child sees you freak out when things don’t go right, guess what they’re learning to do when things go wrong? We can’t expect our children to do something different than what we are modeling for them.
Number two, if our child knows we are prone to freaking out, they are not going to want to come to us with their problems or mistakes. They will be afraid we will overreact and lose our cool.
Our children and teens need to know that we can control our emotions and stay calm. This is especially true for teens who are prone to freaking out themselves. If your child has a lot of stress and anxiety, it will be so helpful for them to have a parent that stays calm and peaceful in the midst of their turmoil. Be the rock for them to lean on.
Staying calm in times of trouble, or chaos, or frustration really starts with being able to properly process your emotions, rather than just reacting to them. In last week’s email we talked all about that. So if you missed it, go check it out! Or schedule a free mini-session with us and we can teach you and your teen how to deal with life’s emotional ups and downs without the freak out!